Out Living Life

In February, I found a lump.

For someone still in treatment for cancer, a lump is like a death threat.

I jumped into action. A quickly scheduled Oncologist visit led to radiology, which led to a needle biopsy.

Just. Like. Before.

Two days of waiting. I was terrified, but I told no one... I didn't want anyone else to worry with me. I was worried enough. I thought of the "what if's"... what if it's already back? what if I'm going to die before the boys grow up?

I was terrified and hiding it was so hard.

I decided in that exact moment in time that I would stop waiting.

Waiting for what? Anything. Everything. All the things we say "I'm going to do that someday" and then put off.

In 2009, I made a vow that I was going to save up for a Camaro. When I was younger, my first car was a 1980 Trans Am... the kind with the t-tops and the bird on the hood. I loved that car. It was my mom's and handed down to me when she got her new car, back in 1998. (Showing my age here!)

Between finding the lump and receiving results about what the lump is, I - very randomly - went to a dealership up the road that had two Camaro convertibles - my dream car - a new one and a used one. The new one was shiny and beautiful but pretty expensive. Let's be realistic - even dreams have to be affordable if you want to keep them!

So, I found this baby...

Some paperwork with my bank and I was soon driving home with her, totally in love and smiling ear to ear... my dream car.

Yes, I have little kids still. And?

This is totally true: 

I'm never sad in my Camaro.

The boys love "Mommy's Dream Car"

Mommy's dream car loves gas...

We enduring a longer winter than planned and saw some pretty cold days together.

Had to put my Alumni tag on the front, loud and proud!

I love this car. It makes me smile. It makes me happy. It cures my depression and bad moods. The feel of the hot sun with the top down is incomparable to much else.

It may just be a car... but to me, it's a symbol that I'm ALIVE and ENJOYING LIFE. It's a symbol that some amazing days are yet to come.

And that lump? Scar tissue. Just some scar tissue from so many surgeries. Thank the Lord.